An Nisa 19 and Us

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا

"and treat them kindly; then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it." (An-Nisa`: 19)

“ Dan bergaullah kalian dengan mereka secara patut. Kemudian bila kalian tidak menyukai mereka maka bersabarlah karena mungkin kalian tidak menyukai sesuatu padahal Allah menjadikan padanya kebaikan yang banyak.” (An-Nisa`: 19)

I am a very sensitive person, especially to people I'm comfortable the most. I might be very strong, very tough for other person. But not to the person that I can rely my self to. I'm such a crybaby. I'm such a person who wants to be spoiled. Maybe because people around me wants me to be their wonderwall, their place to lean on. So, when I found Abang, I feel like I'm the one who s'posed to lean on him.

But I forgot how he has a very hard role in his life.. Has to be a brother, a father, even sometimes the mother when he's in charge at home. I forgot maybe he's tired and wants to lean on me and wants me to understand him, not just me who wants him to understand.

I'm too comfortable with him, I forgot to ask how he felt about me clinging around him and being so dependence on him.

And I feel very guilty... Would you please forgive me? :')

Yesterday, we have this heart to heart talk. Like I said before, marriage preparation makes things a bit more sensitive than they used to.

So, we both are going to try to reduce our minuses and try to understand each other better. We both are going to try to accept each other the way we are, even more than before.

Like the Qur'an verse I posted above, the point is, we might have things we don't really like from each other. But we remember that there's a lot of things we love from each other.

Things that I can't do and he can do, or he can't do and I can do; it makes us complete. That make us stick to each other even when we're very far. That we passed through and will be passed. Like our prayers to each other. Like our dreams we share and our adventure we try to pursue. Like how much he protect me and showers me with love and care. Like how much I love him and his families as much as I love mine. Like how I always wanting him to be happy, and how he always wanting me to be alright and not even sick at all.

There's still a lot more things from us; from each other; which we thank God have given to us.

I think we are going to survive and has this story being lived up to the fullest. Somehow, I am more convince than ever to walk my life with you.